Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
