When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You are a genius and a whore.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize