yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
