It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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