A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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