I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
