When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
