Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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