I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
