So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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