i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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