ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"