It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
