I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
