We're facebook friends in real life
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
