Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
