I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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