I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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