OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize