the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
