i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
