I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Randomize
