why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
