Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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