this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
