it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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