quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
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He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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