I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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