Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I need to calm my uterus...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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