from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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