Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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