i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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