i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
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She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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