you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
