I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
