he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize