theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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