KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
