apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
im six kinds of drunk right now
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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