I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
