Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
