$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Life is so much better after having sex.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
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just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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