My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
