Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
