I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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