Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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