My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Randomize
