your thong is hanging out like whoa
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
