Rock
Scissors
Fuck
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
