I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
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She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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