the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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