Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
