I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
