Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize