Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
