Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Alive.
So much puke
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
